We won't sleep together?
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
