UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
