Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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