You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
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And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
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My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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