I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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