@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
