it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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