I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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