It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?