sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?