So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
