we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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