Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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