I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
