This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
they're like a gay fantastic four
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
