That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Boobs are out for the taking
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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