have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
