really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
