I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
