Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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