That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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