I'm going to jail i love you
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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