so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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