we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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