you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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