just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
