I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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