Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
