Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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