I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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