just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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