Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
I dont know to explain this.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..