apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I have fence marks all over my body