Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.

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(651): It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave. http://tfl.nu/tj8s

Replies (87) Good night (612) Bad night (4410)
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(512): View more from Texas

OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!

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(512): OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs! http://tfl.nu/zfxs

Replies (7) Good night (746) Bad night (5191)
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(631): View more from New York

so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.

(631): View more from New York

what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK

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(631): so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night. (631): what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK http://tfl.nu/1v47

Replies (34) Good night (7290) Bad night (1376)
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(214): View more from Texas

Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious

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(214): Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious http://tfl.nu/ofzu

Replies (31) Good night (6207) Bad night (970)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora

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(860): She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora http://tfl.nu/wtuh

Replies (19) Good night (4733) Bad night (1835)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.

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(717): I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me. http://tfl.nu/9q78

Replies (3) Good night (1008) Bad night (2553)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.

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(570): Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal. http://tfl.nu/4lbo

Replies (6) Good night (999) Bad night (2082)
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(406): View more from Montana

We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.

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(406): We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class. http://tfl.nu/2kxo

Replies (11) Good night (4574) Bad night (1200)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.

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(508): Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying. http://tfl.nu/h4eg

Replies (7) Good night (5933) Bad night (1472)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you

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(262): When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you http://tfl.nu/zf8b

Replies (8) Good night (3354) Bad night (1269)
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(574): View more from Indiana

Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?

(1-574): View more from Indiana

Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.

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(574): Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for? (1-574): Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina. http://tfl.nu/l0nz

Replies (18) Good night (2294) Bad night (769)
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(205): View more from Alabama

First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.

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(205): First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined. http://tfl.nu/ei07

Replies (4) Good night (1675) Bad night (1149)
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(207): View more from Maine

Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.

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(207): Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me. http://tfl.nu/clpj

Replies (10) Good night (1639) Bad night (1064)
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(+33): View more from France

Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.

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(+33): Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper. http://tfl.nu/xgzc

Replies (1) Good night (876) Bad night (454)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.

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(402): He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before. http://tfl.nu/g8nu

Replies (4) Good night (303) Bad night (635)

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