those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.