I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
Hahaha April fools!
Please, let me fuck your mom
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.