omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.