How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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