i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
