1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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