She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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