We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
