i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
