Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
