But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
