Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
