And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize