all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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