I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
