I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
