I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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