Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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