Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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