her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
