In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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