also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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