i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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