nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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