And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
