i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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