Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me + whiskey = a bad person
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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