Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
