now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
