Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
